Like a faded childhood memory

Taken from a journal on 10-16-09,

There are times when I wonder if you think about me still, or if I'm like a faded childhood memory or a detail in a book that is overlooked. So I wonder from time to time if it ever existed; if you're real; if anything really happened. Or if they were delusions. Am I insane?
What happened to the promises made? What happened to the planned future filled with uncertainties? Where did I go wrong? Where did I fail? The rest of me has cooled, yet my blood still thaws the heart that pumps warm blood. Help me to survive. Help me reach until tomorrow. Help me understand why I walk, looking backwards. Help me, though you don't hear me.

-10:24pm